Harper Valley PTA (Part 1 of 2)

My mama was indifferent when it came to the PTA. That’s Parent Teacher Association, for those playing along at home.

I vaguely recall the existence of an occasional PTA meeting in elementary school, but not much else.

It was a non-entity during junior high.

Julian Gibson, the legendary principal at North Forsyth High School, disbanded the PTA long, long ago because he felt they served no meaningful purpose.

That’s not to say parents didn’t help. The early musicals at North would not have happened without the heroic efforts of the Luebchow, Yarborough and Woodard families, among many.

When Sophia entered kindergarten, Vikki and I joined the PTA. My mother and Vikki’s mother paid the membership fee and joined, too.

We were committed to doing everything we could do to help Sophia, her teachers and the school create the most spectacular environment possible.

Room parents. Special events. Fund raisers. We’ve helped where and when we can.

There is a yearly outreach to enlist volunteers and ideas to prepare for the next school year.

I replied.

“I’m willing to do this or that, either here or there, however and whenever it needs to be done. Have y’all thought about…?”

I’m seldom short of bright ideas. It comes with the territory of being Margaret’s son and growing up with Gretchen, Terry, John and Uncle Larry.

We think big.

We do things.

It’s how life goes.

My enthusiasm was tempered with a less-than-welcoming response on official PTA letterhead.

“Mr. Griffin, why don’t you leave the thinking to the ladies? We suggest you find some other fathers and do some landscaping around the school. Pick up sticks. That kind of thing. We’ll handle the rest.”

To say I was surprised would be an egregious understatement.

“Pick up sticks?”

Vikki doesn’t like it when I utter grownup words. She was not happy with my behavior that day. I had a lot to say.

Needless to say, I wasn’t done.

I wrote the principal and copied the PTA. Among other things, I asked the school administration to reach out to the PTA leadership and clarify the importance of offering fathers and grandfathers and uncles and brothers and coaches the opportunity to work and volunteer within an elementary school setting. The world needs reliable, responsible male role models.

That was a costly move.

We were effectively shunned. Friends stopped answering our phone calls. Text messages were blocked. Invitations to the pool ceased.

My wife lost a good friend. Play dates with Sophia and Miles were few and far between. Invitations to birthday parties rarely appeared in the mailbox.

I remained hard-headed and defiant. Fathers can do more than pick up sticks.

Vikki and I continued to volunteer. Not because we were welcomed and certainly not invited, but rather we believe school is a family commitment. As long as Sophia and Miles are in school, we’ll be there.

Working. Giving. Helping. Hoping. Encouraging. It’s what parents do.

It’s precisely what the Luebchow, Yarborough and Woodard families did, and it mattered.

Being in charge and doing the work do not always go hand in hand. Pick, if you can. Choose, if you must. We choose to do the work.